Relationships

People are drawn together by a certain feeling of affinity, of agreement or of attraction between some part of one’s own nature and some part of other’s nature. At first this is only felt; one sees all that is good or pleasant to one in the other’s nature and even attributes, perhaps qualities to him that are not there or not so much as one thinks. But with closer acquaintance other parts of the nature are felt with which ones is not in affinity – perhaps there is a clash of ideas or opposition of feelings or conflict of two egos. If there is a strong love or friendship of a lasting character, then one may overcome these difficulties of contact and arrive at harmonizing or accommodation; but very often this is not there or the disagreement is so acute as to counteract the tendency to accommodate or else the ego gets so hurt as to recoil. Then it is quite possible for one to begin to see too much and exaggerate the faults of the other or to attribute things to him of a bad or unpleasant character that are not there. The whole view can change. The good feeling may change into ill feeling, alienation, even enmity or antipathy. This always happens in human life.


But shouldn’t one try to look calmly at others? And not overstress either virtues or defects, without ill feeling or misunderstanding or injustice? One should be seen at with a calm mind and vision.