Another day

The mind wanders on
The heart keeps seeking
The questions have no answers
and the pain no potion

The pain numbs they said
yes it does
It numbs the senses

And then you wonder
why you are almost dead?

A wish In Despair

A wish to run

A hope to fly

Away from where I am

Away from what I am in

To somewhere hidden

To someplace calm

Where people don’t scream

And they don’t judge

And they don’t hurt

A wish to feel the rain

On my bare skin

A wish to abandon

The do’s and don’ts

A wish to smell the breeze

Sitting in the rain

A wish to revisit a time in the past

And feel no pain, when I come back

A hope to live I want

A Reason to live I need

In despair I sit

In despair I write

In despair I hope

In despair I reach out!

Pondicherry

Pondicherry – Much has been written about the place. Some like it; some love it and some find it an ok place. There are some souls who don’t know about it. Fair enough.

The regular travelers would write about the quaint little town, with some colonial appeal that is fast diminishing. The foodie traveler would bring home memories of sea food, French restaurants, Pizzerias and Oven fresh bread.

Then there is traffic and cycles and scooters to talk about and also the narrow roads. A contrast to this hullabaloo is the area around Sri Aurobindo Ashram - Peaceful, eco friendly, neat and quiet.

A visit to Pondicherry won’t be deemed complete unless one can talk about visiting Auroville and the Matrimandir. The a forestation of land by people of about 40 countries, the community living, the eco friendly and scientific methods adopted by people, the arts and crafts . The serene MatriMandir and the quiet walk that leads to the main entry of the MatriMandir.

My visits to Pondicherry are always planned only to the point of buying the ticket to n fro. How I wish I could forego the need to buying the ticket for the journey back home. But reality, work and family beckons and I am left with the choice of being half a traveler and wanderer that I want to be. More on that later; lets go back to Pondicherry.

Pondicherry to me is a feeling, an experience and a realization. The visits to Pondicherry can never be an itemized list of Must do, Must see etc. And surprisingly, all my visits to Pondicherry have been spur of the moment decisions. “JUST GO”! My heart whispers and I go.

I find the non existence of an airport in Pondicherry, despite being a tourist destination a blessing in disguise. And if one happens to be visiting it via Chennai, then a treat awaits, in the form of the ECR – the east coast road. Tank up your car, fasten your seatbelts and put your foot on the accelerator. That’s exactly what Kay did. He drove as if he was on an F1 track and we loved every minute of it – with some moments of skipping heartbeats of course.

On Reaching Pondicherry, the ECR suddenly narrows and a chaotic traffic welcomes you. As you readjust yourself to this slow moving commotion, you take in the surroundings. If you are not a regular visitor to Pondicherry, you might start wondering why you even chose to come here. But have patience. This chaos has beauty and rhythm in it and would vanish as soon as you turn into the Ashram Area, near the beach, which was our destination.

This is the point where the contrast between the two parts of the town hits my senses. The tranquility is almost deafening. It goes so deep into the mind and heart that it starts hurting. As my breathing deepens the place fills me with energy. Not the bubbly boisterous kinds, but an energy that comes with being at peace with yourself. The harmony of the place with nature almost sings to you; only that you don’t hear the music, you feel it.

To feel this Aura one does not need to be a devotee who follows the teachings and sayings of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. The Place Pondicherry treats everyone alike and treats everyone to its divine healing power. The place calls you and then calls you back. It talks to you. Two of my friends, first time visitors to the place, made phone calls to family and friends and told them that they must come and experience the place. That’s how Pondicherry is. Experience! Feeling!

For you

I sought solace and I found it in you

I needed a rock and your hand steadied me

I meant to cry and you gave me your shoulder

and then made a bed of rose petals for me to lie on

I looked at the world with narrow eyes

the scorching radiance of it making me blink

you kissed my eyes and soothed them

I could see things differently

I feared darkness and you lit yourself up

like a candle burning itself to spread light

I sought, I wanted, I needed, I feared
And all you did was give.


Love is What I felt in you.

Pleasure in pain

Hurt hurts but heals as well

it feels bad when it is now

but once its passed

its always awesome

to see how you went from

pain to pleasure

and back again